Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I Am That Monster

Yes. That's me. The year was 2006 (which feels oh so long ago lol!) and I was all dressed up to go dancing for my birthday. We were taking pictures (after all, how often was I going to dress up like that?) and for some reason out came my dagger. Why? Who knows? My brother was taking the pictures, we both like knives, and we decided that it was a good photo prop.

The picture itself is fairly crappy, it's hard to see the dagger and I'm all white from the flash, but add a little red tint, and it's perfect for today's blog post! Why you ask?

Every great quest involves a few monsters along the way. Ogres and goblins that are determined to make sure you never reach the end. Writing is like a quest sometimes, especially when you want to be a published author some day. There are plenty of swamps and mountains to get through, and yes, there are monsters.

I am that monster.

I know that may not make much sense on the surface, but believe me, I am one of the monsters I have to slay in order to get to the end of this quest. Ok, maybe not me in my entirety, but believe me, I get in my own way just as much as anything else does!

Self doubt and distractions are the two things that get in my way the most. I've noticed I am having a hard time finding the time to work on my first draft of Misfits and it boils down (largely) to those two things. I look at it and all I see is this huge mountain of work, which is followed quickly by, "But what if it's no good?" This inevitably leads too, "I should take a break first and watch that show or read that book. Charge my batteries before I tackle it."

Um. Yah. That doesn't work out so well most of the time.

Granted, I do probably have ADHD (not diagnosed) and so a portion of my problem is just that I have troubles focusing on things unless I'm VERY motivated, but if I didn't start out by telling myself that my work probably isn't worth it I wouldn't get as distracted.

I say it's time to slay the Monster That Is Me and scale the next mountain. I will complete this quest!

~ Ruthie ~


  1. Keep going! It's perfectly ok to question things, but you've got this!

  2. That's an important monster to slay and you're wise to tackle that one now, before having to face down all the others out there.

    (If this works, it's because I switched browsers but because I really, really, really hate IE, I may not always do this. However, I thought it wise to try it as a step in diagnosing the problem with me commenting on here.)

  3. I totally get what you mean! Our own worst enemies are our doubts (and, I'll admit, my tendency to procrastinate rather well :D), if we let them be!

    That picture reminds me of a pic of me where I'm about to bite my brother's neck as if I'm a vampire :P My best friend in high school and I were totally weird.

  4. I gave you an award! :D

  5. Yeah, I wish I couldn't relate ;)
    Good luck with the monster slaying.

  6. Oh dear - I have met my equal. I so understand this in all the 'bad' ways :( I am a constant self-critisiser and a nightmare when it comes to actual focus. I will mae all the excuses in the world to avoid doing what I actually really want to do - I think my main issue is fear of completion, perhaps its not. Either way, I totally need to extract the excuses from my daily dialogue and move head on into 'achievement mode'. See you there? :)